i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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