im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
