let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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