I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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