Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
