She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize