i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
