Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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