Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
