So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
