I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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