just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
