The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
These tits shall not be calmed
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
