Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
