So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I can't turn off my feet"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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