I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
