What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
