i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
My feet surprised me
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