You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I want to fling myself into the sun
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
