where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
