we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
