She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
