Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
