just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
