I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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