The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
