I don't think brook has ever known best
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
