I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
