Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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