Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
