omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
