So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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