youre lurking in front of me
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We have started to decorate penises.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
