Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
wanna go halves on a baby?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
