Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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