Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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