Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
