But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
