The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
