Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
