I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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