Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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