I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
