The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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