I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
