i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
