Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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