i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
