brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
