I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
