The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
