I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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