Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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