I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
