I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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