Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
