i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You ruined the universe
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
