I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I am one with the molecules
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
