My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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