So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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