If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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