Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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