i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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