There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
