Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
