u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
